Once upon a time there was a professor who lived in a rabbit infested neighbourhood where all the streets were paved with gold (and smeared with rabbit pinch!).
There was so much pinch you could barely see the gold.
But Elmer didn't mind the filth and smell -- getting all that gold would make him RICH!
He was chiselling away at the pavement when an on-coming truck taught him the danger of standing in the road, especially when its inherently slippery nature was exacerbated by a slick layer of rabbit "lubrication."
The driver stopped the car mere inches from Elmer's face, and leapt out, revealing himself to be Internet-famous Candlejack, who kidnapped Elmer, all the rabbits, and even the narrator for good measure.
But the CIA was quickly alerted to the problem and went looking for Candlejack, but he soon gave himself up and was forced to live in a rabbit compound for 10 years.
Astute readers may be wondering how this story has managed to mention Candlejack three times now without abruptly ending mid-sentence; that's because there are actually four narrators telling it, each seamlessly continuing when the previous gets kidnapped!
Everyone lived happily ever after.