There once was a boy named Jimmy.
He was a good baseball player but not really a whole lot smarter than the average bear.
But his specialty was hockey; he was a bit of a sieve, though.
In his last game, the score was 10 to 1 -- against him.
He decided to get some practice by leaping in front of trains and trying to stop them.
Three months later, when he was released from the hospital, he decided hockey just wasn't his game, so he took up chess instead.
During his second chess game he choked on a pawn and gave up chess too.
His quest to find a sport that can't kill him continues to this day; if only he realized that it doesn't matter, for the CPR administered by that prairie bison failed to save his life from that pawn!