"What should I do today?" asked Iggy. It would be a difficult decision to make because all of the possibilities were open. He had a thousand dollars in his pocket, there was no school today, and he was free as a bird.
"Maybe I'll try out the new attraction at Cartmanland. I hear it's supposed to be a riot!" And a riot it was, as people were clamoring at the gate and not allowed in.
Suddenly, out from the walls flowed two and one half dozen heavily armed
guards with monogrammed bullet-proof vests reading "Riot Up-breakin Team."
"All right," the RUT leader demanded, "Move along!"
"Wow," thought Iggy, "this is going to be a good day! I've never been in a riot before!" He quickly climbed a nearby tree and watched the action.
Unfortunately, the tree limb broke under his weight. Fortunately, something broke his fall. Unfortunately, though, what broke his fall was the R.U.T. leader. Fortunately, the rest of the R.U.T. wasn't upset. Unfortunately, Iggy was hired as the replacement leader. "Uh," he exclaimed, before he was rushed 'back' to headquarters.
The folks there were so depressed with his jokes that they demoted him to second in command of the RUT. He immediately took charge when the leader went on a coffee break. He stopped the riot with a simple command -- "Everyone off to Tim Horton's for free donuts."