"I told you the jar of dirt wouldn't help!" exclaimed John.
"Hey, it's not my fault the rum is gone!" responded Jack.
"You are the one who got booted in the head," pointed out Jane.
"Guys, please, we have more important things to deal with," pleaded Jill.
"More important than the rum being gone!?" Jack couldn't believe what
he was hearing.
"Yes!" Jill insisted, "more important than absent rum, a jar of dirt,
or even a boot to the head!"
"Pfft," Jane snorted contemptuously. "Nothing's more important than a
jar of dirt!"
"I guess you haven't heard of the newest element discovered in space.
A jar of this new substance could be used to cure all diseases known
to man!"
"You're a fool, Jane. Just think of how we could control mankind with
this stuff. Where do you suppose they're keeping it?"
"They're keeping it in grandma's purse -- nobody can find anything there,"
said Fred, who had overheard the argument.
"I resent that," said Grandma, hot under the collar at such an accusation.
"Why, I can find anything there, given enough time -- in fact, guess what
I found there just last week.
It's your long-lost sibling, Baby Jake. I put him there when we brought him home from the hospital before you were born. Look what a fine young man he's grown into, living in my purse!" John, Jack, Jane, Jill, and even Fred had to admit that "Baby" Jake did look good, and they were especially impressed that he was carrying his own jar of dirt and a keg of rum. Unfortunately, at that point, "Baby" Jake booted them all in the head (except Grandma, whom he loved dearly) and bolted out the door, never to be seen again.