He knew it was going to be a bad day when the coffee maker did not work. "Oh well," he said as he grabbed his keys and left the house. At that moment he saw the large space on the driveway -- the space where his car should have been.
"Oh dear," he sighed, before heading to the bus top. When the number 9 pulled up, he reached into his empty pocket for his wallet. "Oh my," he grumbled, shaking his head at its absence. As he started walking to work, a truck hit him. "Oh man," his spirit moaned, drifting skyward, "and that was a really nice shirt, too!"
"Where have you been?" asked St. Peter. "I expected you last week."
"Sorry to be late," replied the spirit. "I was detained waiting for my
delivery of lobster from down east."
"I guess that was worth the delay," said Pete. "On you go, then."
"But I didn't get to eat the lobster. We were going to cook it tonight
and invite some homeless people in to share the feast."
"In that case, I'm sending you back below. When you get there,
could you do me one favor, please? Drop by and give the pope this message, from me:
'Rook to Queen's Knight Five.'"
The spirit raised his ethereal eyebrow, taking note of the chess board
in front of the Saint. "You get many spirits with unfinished business?"
"Well, between them and the Buddhists, we should have this game done in
only another decade or so."
"I see."