It was a dark and stormy day when Fred started on his journey to Africa. On the way his SUV was ambushed by a troop of baboons. What happened next you will never believe.
They mooned him! Can you believe that? No, of course not, because it's not true. What really happened is too gruesome to describe, so we'll skip to when he had escaped.
Unfortunately, this was in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, and Fred had had very little in the way of swimming practice, and was finding it difficult to keep afloat. He was just about to give up when one of the baboons threw him a life preserver.
He took it, tried to untie it from the boat with his other hand, then remembered he had no other hand. He was taken back in by the baboons.
"Now we'll get to answer that question our daddy used to ask: 'Do white men taste as good as black ones?'"